Already, those of us who have issues with the Party of No are weary. There are so many issues that are enraging that the level of vigilance is beginning to harm our well being. We must pace ourselves and take good care of our bodies and minds in order to be real warriors.
Today was the first day since November 8th that I've been worried. Deep in my bones worried. By design so much is being thrown at us by the President's fast and furious executive orders as to threaten one's grip on any sense of stability. With near glee the Republican party is dismantling the government and today voted in one of the most inept of candidates to head up the Department of Education.
Today history was made in Washington, D.C. with the largest protest held on American soil ever. A half million people showed up to unify as one voice in support of women's rights, which are human rights. On Facebook many have asked the question, "What's the point?" The point is that women in this nation will not go back to the 1950s and be June Clever. We demonstrate to say that we embrace a message of compassion, equality and justice. We want the conservative older men in power to understand that we have come too far to ever go back.
She was slightly built and adorable at forty-two years old. Catie was a friend of a friend invited to the springtime beach party. We chatted about her career as a medical device salesperson who recently returned from living in China. Somehow we began to talk about me being a step-parent, and about her dating a new guy with kids. While sipping my favorite cocktail, the leap from discussing dating landed on her frank revelation about contemplating her last chance to have biological children. It happened in that odd space open women allocate to a perfect stranger: Fertility. Egg quality. Babies.
If marriage is one of the most complex relationships, then it should be no shock that divorce is equally intricate. It is thought that somewhere between 45% and 50% first-time marriages end in a divorce; rates are even higher for second and third marriages. One person may fall out of love and in love with someone else, or both people slowly wring every emotion out of the relationship until it dries out. Every woman who has been through it knows that divorce is treacherous territory and often you realize that it is the culmination of dozens of failures over time. To paraphrase the onetime famous French actress Simone Signoret, marriage is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which break.
Nothing is as monumental for a mother as the day her child leaves home for college. It’s far more provocative than taking a sprouting five-year-old off to kindergarten for a day. Women begin to form dread over losing their child near the middle of their child’s high school career, as they chat with moms on the bleachers who have seniors. Imagine that you will begin to cry at your child’s high school graduation, and continue weeping while moving him or her into a residence hall on some college campus way too far from home to suit you.
As the weather changes and days creep towards beloved winter holidays, gray skies and chilled drizzle might pull at your mood. While you should be thrilled about wearing comfy layers and those hot new boots, something is off. Perhaps it is a subtle shift at first, but soon it is obvious that your disposition has changed and you are noticeably down in the dumps. You don’t feel good. You sleep more and don’t have the energy you usually have.
When we feel safe, we trust. I no longer feel safe. My country doesn’t look like the country that I believed it was and I am mourning. Hot tears are always close and I am not a woman who cries easily. I am a tough, Italian-American broad and I’ve endured nine surgeries in my life; two bouts with cancer, infertility and one divorce. Not much causes me to weep, but this has shaken me deeply. Something epochal has just occurred. I’ve tried to make my husband understand, but he looks at me helplessly as the tears well up in my tired eyes.
In a perfect world, the holidays offer the best of times filled with warmth and companionship. We luxuriate in the love of those who mean everything to us. When a loss occurs, not only are celebratory patterns threatened, but suddenly it becomes painful to negotiate a regular day. Facing a holiday period, necessarily rife with emotion and memories, can be dismaying and depressing. It is not uncommon to feel anxious as you approach significant milestones without your loved one.